This week's topic: Write one fact that Dave Thomason doesn't know about himself. Does he hate kittens, does he drink from the carton, or does he punch babies? Reveal his secrets!
Voting procedures are the same. However, whoever Dave votes for gets two votes! So impress him about stuff he doesn't know!
Dave Thomason
5 comments:
Dave was actually born with a heart of coal. As he grew older, he also grew much much sexier. His absolute hotness increased his average body temperature to 4 million degrees fahrenheit. Moreover, over the past four years, he has put on over 10,000 lbs. of pure muscle mass. So much pressure (from his sexy bulk) and hotness concentrated into one body successfully changed his heart into a diamond this past spring. Congrats Dave, I wanted to be the first to tell you.
Thus, anyone trying to steal Dave's heart (i.e. me) is attempting to steal a blood diamond. And that's illegal according to Executive Order 13194 passed by President Clinton in 2001 and the Clean Diamond Trade Act of 2003.
Dave is not really human. His consciousness is actually the remaining programming code from the sentient robot Alpha 5. When Zordon returned to his home planet of Aquitar following the destruction of the Power Chamber (but before he died a valiant death to save the Universe from Dark Specter's invading armies), he decided that the metal body of Alpha 5 was not suitable for his needs any more.
Thus, he tinkered with the programming a bit and used Aquitian technology to transform the parts of Alpha 5 into a flesh-like substance. Not wanting the newly created man-robot to feel Homo sapien envy for all the "real" humans out there, Zordon made the new Alpha think he was truly human. He also renamed him DAVE (Data-Assisted Virtual Entity).
Zordon intended to keep DAVE around as his personal assistant, but he grew guilty as he saw mere coding evolve into near true human emotions. Wanting him to be free, he wiped his memory banks and sent him to Earth to live a free life. He dropped him off in Danville, Californian because, in his words, "Who the hell would look for Alpha in Danville?"
Sigh.
I put "Californian" for "California."
I apologize for the typo.
this is going to be hard.
Dave did not go to Chicago to learn improv. Greg, Mike, and I devised a clever plan to trick Dave into thinking he had traveled to the IO Center in Chicago. There is no such thing as Improv Olympics or Chicago. Instead, Dave went to Reno and learned ways of the religous cult Omega Zealof.
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